There Are Two Kinds of People: People Who Say They Like Kelly Clarkson and Liars
Hey everybody! So I finally decided to take ten minutes off from taking the quizzes in a copy of TEEN PEOPLE from 1997 to update this blog. I would also like to take a moment to announce my new format: this blog will now only cover news and points of interest related to ghosts, walking around New York City, and Kelly Clarkson, my three major points of interest. It’s good to have focus. It’s the key to productivity!
First off: Kelly! Oh christ, aren’t you glad she’s back, so you can stop thinking about whether you might like Katy Perry. Of course you don’t like Katy Perry! Katy Perry is so gross, she is like a neon pink weave you see blowing softly across the sidewalk on a summer’s afternoon. But I understand, of course—while Kelly was gone, we all took what we could get in terms of prepackaged lady singers with songs so catchy they are basically like terminal diseases. I like the song “Hot N Cold” because I am a human being, but then imagine if Kelly sang it? It would be EVEN better, and it wouldn’t have that awkward part in the beginning where Katy Perry’s voice is really thin and sort of sounds like someone hitting the wrong note on a plastic recorder (like, the kind they give you in elementary school) and you’re just like “Autotune, blurg.” Whatever, I mean, obviously I mostly we were all just listening to Donna Summer, but you know what I mean.
